I hate in-game spam.

The worst kind of spam is gold-seller/powerlevelling spam, but that is thankfully filtered in EQII now.

The second worst spam, now elevated to worst spam by default... self-congratulatory announcements and parses.

You never see these from say... a bard or a cleric, nor from a berserker or monk. Nope, it's always the DEE-PEE-ESS kings that post the parses. Check it out next time and you'll see I'm right. The only people who care about who got highest damage are the people who get highest damage. Assassins, Wizards, Necros (with lifeburn) lead the pack.

It's their JOB to do DPS, isn't it? I don't go around yelling "WOOOOT" every time I debuff a mob's attack speed and dps so that it is as powerful as jello, nor announce to all and sundry when I've used my ubery cures and buffs on the tank during a boss fight. It's my role.

I don't pay much attention to healer parses either, because if all a priest is doing is healing, then they are not working to their full potential. Is the tank still alive? Is the mob dead? Then I win, kk thx, pls send cash.

So yay, you've outdamaged the rest of the group.
Bully for you, mister only-dps-in-the-freaking-party.
Did you think it was a competition?

Are you waiting for cries of "congratulations!", "ohhhh, I am so in AWE of you?" or "I wish I was uber like you, please may I touch your tunic for luck?"

Not gonna happen. I'm busy rolling on the loot that we won as a group effort.


Parses can be a useful tool in cases where you're trying to determine if there is a problem with the damage output of a particular member. For instance, I can clearly recall a mage who used to send her pet in, and cast a spell and thats... it... for the whole fight. We'd be panting and all out of mana while she sat there at 95%, claiming that she had been casting. A parse would be a useful educational tool in that case. When a Mystic out-damages a Conjuror, you know there's something wrong.

I am happy to say that I know Ecoah. He is a very good Assassin, a fun guy to group with and a responsible, caring officer in our guild.
Fortunately, he also has a great sense of humor, so I don't have to watch my back after this comic. Right? And I'll still get invited to CoA groups and stuff?

Bah, I can probably still get invites because I know there is a dearth of healers... everyone went out and rolled a DPS class.



Ecoah's faction with me went up by +5,000 when he started putting the damage parses in a separate chat channel for those who actually wish to see it. I'll even buy him a beer.

Ahhhhh, sweet, sweeeeeeeeet quiet.
I can take the occasional announcement of his high-damage hits.

For now.
;-)#
Brasse


ps. Ok, post your highest parses here. You know you want to.