This is a public service announcement: PIRATES ARE BAD.

They may have become heroes in popular media, but they are criminals. Ugly-minded, nasty-arsed criminals. We still have pirates these days, and every once in a while they surface on TV screens, and they are kind of disappointing. Not entertaining, not pretty, not even interesting. They’re just… thugs.

Pirates have always been thus.

And oh, they smell bad too. Like two months at a time without a change of clothes, bath, toilet paper or toothbrush makes you smell bad.

They have really nasty teeth. Really scary nasty teeth that must result in a great deal of pain from tooth decay and gingivitis. No wonder they’re such angry bastards.

Ever notice how the “hero” pirates have awesome dental work? Those ones keep dentists belowdecks for their personal pleasure. Count on it. The dentist does double duty as a torturer for captured prisoners.

But to hell with all that, because, as a friend of mine (ok, that Coyote guy) once said, whilst we were having the "pirates are bad, are not, are so" argument, Pirates are FUN to play.

I bet he’s a thug too. And smells bad.

But he’s right, they are fun to play, and all you have to do is fire up Pirates of the Burning Sea to figure this out. Oh, sure, sure, you can play for Navies like the French, English or Spanish, but where’s the fun in that?

And no, the Somali nation is NOT being added to PotBS.

I made that up, but really. Don’t you think today’s real pirates should dress better? They are raking in the dough, right? OIL TANKERS worth millions? The mafia look slick (at least the bosses do), the gangstas got bling, but these modern day pirates? They look like they just slept in a cardboard box in the Bronx, after some homeless guy stole their old clothes.


Guys, you can afford a hat.

Hell, even I can afford a hat. A proper, hand-made, awesome hat, made by a genuine craftsman. Mine arrived recently, a burgundy colored “Barbosa,” crafted of sheep’s wool felt and treated for water resistance. I bet it works well for flung beer as well, in those barroom brawls us Dwarves often find ourselves in.



You want a hat like that. You know you do. You DESERVE a pirate hat. Yes, I will share the source, because I am nice like that. Just buy me a beer some time.

Contact The MacKay at http://www.captjackspiratehats.com/

Explore and enjoy… then post yer piratey hat pics for me! Oh yeah… The MacKay also makes pansy-arsed navy hats if you insist, and I’m sure he could create any hat you wanted, for the right price. He is a very fair-minded pirate though; I was surprised at how reasonable the prices were.

Remember… if you get a good hat, you only need ONE for a lifetime of YARR.

Little known fact: you will play PotBS better with the new hat on, I promise.
Yer welcome.

;-)#
Brasse

ps. Pirates of the Burning Sea just implemented their new avatar combat system, in an effort to improve the area I felt was most lacking in their game. So far, it is a lot more fun to watch and participate in good old hand-to-hand swordfights (or in the case of my dirty-fighting Pirate, shooting-people-in-the-face fights). This would be a great time to take advantage of their free trial!