True story. Our raid leader cannot always get a decent signal on his free wireless at home, and that means he has to embark on his own personal quest for Wi-Fi... wherever he can find it, and before we all zone into whatever hot flamy death raid awaits us.

Insanity or dedication? Both.

Meet Bownzer, Raid Leader for a gimpy little guild (err, sorry, JUGGERNAUT, lest Leader Fanadore smack me). We are called Stealth, and reside on the Crushbone server. We are at best a casual guild, at worst, a weird amalgam of slackers and professionals who simply don't have the time or energy to be uber raiders.

Bownzer doesn't care. A few times a week, he cobbles us into some semblance of order and takes us into a raid zone. I listen in on the headphones as he patiently explains what we are going to do, how we must NOT attack when the mob gets to 40%, how we must not stand too close to the thingamajig-whatsits... and then we wipe because someone wasn't listening. By the fourth attempt, I only avoid bursting into flames by dousing the fire with ample doses of beer, while Bownzer, with the patience of Job, explains once more how we will avoid wiping this time, and actually win the encounter.

And we often do, which is a testament to his perseverence more than our collective ability, which is somewhat greater than a random collection of chimpanzees. What's more, we're getting better. Inconceivable!


After getting to know Bownzer over the past couple of years in EQII, I have been impressed by both his love and knowledge of the game and his willingness to lead a bunch of stray adventurers for so long with such skill and kindness. I decided that I couldn't think of anyone more deserving of a nomination for EQII Player of the Year... looking at my calendar, I am just under the deadline, too.

I had a conversation with Gary Hahn (yes, he does have a real name) as he moved between locations yesterday to find a signal and avoid rain and lightning, which inspired today's comic.

I asked where he went when his home internet was flaky. "I have to drive either 4 miles to McDonalds or 13 miles to the mall and sit outside of Panera Bread and use their wi-fi," Bownzer replied. And when it rains during a raid? "Just gotta tough it out and try to find a dry spot...."

We talked a little about Hahn's gaming history. He started playing EQ when he was 15 or 16, "my friend Sam got me into the game. He had an account about four days after it started and he got me hooked that fast. I still thank him for it." Did his involvement with gaming affect his school work adversely? "Not at all," he replied, "It just gave me an alternative when I was stuck writing. I'd ask guildies for help on certain subjects and they'd be more than willing to help me at any time."

Hahn played started online gaming with EQ and played it steadily until the launch of EQII, "The content of EQ2 keeps me coming back along with the people." He still goes back to the older game on occasion, saying, "I miss EQ as well, but I sneak off from time to time for a night or so to play it. I've tried the other games but they just don't feel real enough for me."

A highly skilled player and strategist, Hahn did not start with Stealth, but rather, "I started in Brotherhood of Arms, the first guild founded on Innothule. Then I moved to Revelations once BoA died out. Then Genesis, Then Stealth, then (after a hiatus from the game) Contempt then very happily back home to Stealth."

He was drawn back to our casual guild after finding he did not want to raid five nights a week any longer. Why did he come back to Stealth? "Once again, the people. I was happy to come back to a place I felt I was needed and could contribute more than just membership to."

Hahn's main character used to be Seelenschrei Ishardtospell (and it is), a Fury. We lacked a dedicated Raid tank in Stealth... or at least, we kept losing them to guilds that were more into raiding, which really put the damper on our efforts. Seel was retired and a great big, ugly Troll Guardian was born... Bownzer. Hahn leveled him up for the sole purpose of being the best meat-shield our guild had ever seen.

Stealth started raiding again. And wiping, and raiding some more. We've learned a lot, and our successes have been due to the perseverance, faith and optimistic attitude of our Raid Leader.

I have mentioned that I was impressed that he managed to maintain his low-key, soft-spoken manner when things went very wrong. Was he always that patient? "Yes and No. I mean, I've worked with children a lot, so patience and understanding is just a part of my life. My girlfriend's twin little brothers have autism as well so that's just another aspect that helps me have more patience."

"I helped coaching a junior high football team as a senior in high school. I've also coached little league football. I was a Training Assistant for all of the Phys Ed Classes in high school as a senior too."

At this point, he sent a camera invite. "If you view the cam you can see where i'm sitting," he explained. The image panned around an open air, covered area of wooden buildings that looked like a rustic mall of sorts; Bownzer's raid command center for the day.

I asked what Hahn's career goals were, aside from being an uber raid leader. "Well I'd like to get into coaching high school or higher football and possibly get a degree somewhere in the IT field." When he was young he had dreams of playing for his beloved Denver Broncos (it seems clear that all his shirts bear the logo and he likely has it tattooed somewhere as well - I didn't ask).

In high school, he earned MVP for his team three years running and led the state in many categories, while maintaining a 3.6 GPA and 34 ACT. He was bitterly disappointed not to receive any sport-related scholarships, but he walked in to a college in Nebraska that held open tryouts for their team, and he made the cut.

"Then the freshman experience kicked in and I started partying too much and drinking and not going to class," he admitted ruefully, "but I was on the football team it was okay to do that... i personally didnt' agree and figured that if I was paying for my education I should GET an education." He paused for a moment, and continued, "I left school after my first semester and jumped right into life."

Now age 26, Hahn plans to complete his degree when his girlfriend, Kate, graduates from her double degree program in Biotechnology and Psychology. This seemed like a good lead in to ask what she thought of his game-playing. "She doesnt' mind the game much because this is my drug of choice. I don't drink I don't smoke I don't party... I don't do anything really. EQ2 is my release." I commented that at least she usually knows where he is, unless he's driving around chasing a Wi-Fi signal in their home town of Des Moines, IA. "Exactly. she always knows where I'm at!"

Kate herself played EQ and EQII with Hahn, but the course load she carries means she seldom has time to play now. There is always hope for the future, when we may well lose Hahn to his own career goals. That'll be a sad day for Stealth indeed.

In the meantime, Hahn is enjoying EQII and the challenges of leading our raids. He has earned a great deal of respect from our 271 members, across 103 unique accounts. "Respect is a very important part of the guild and as any person in any form or a leadership role knows, without loyalty... you're just another person."

"Stealth is a great guild and there is a great base of players there," he said, "I really want to see the guild progress and become one of the most talked about guilds in every aspect of the game. Raiding, Grouping and just overall the people in the game being some of the best people the server has to offer."

Well, we've got Bownzer, and he's certainly some of the "best people."