SoE FanFaire – What you don't know can't hurt you.

Till now.

For all those who missed another year's worth of the huge guys cramming themselves into teeny pink girl's t-shirts… you're welcome.

Brenlo seems to delight in running this particular competition every year at the FanFaire banquet, leading me to believe one of two things: he suffered some long-lasting trauma as a child involving bullies and a cheerleading outfit, OR he just wants to feel less alone in the lingerie he wears under his street clothes.

Either way, this hellish performance must be stopped before more people are injured. FanFaire attendees report suffering vision loss after every episode. Some of this is a result of stabbing themselves in the eyes with forks to stop the images.

The scariest part is that these... shall we say large... men actually go up on stage when a contest is announced in which the only qualifying criteria is size. SURELY they have heard of past years' events.

Maybe they really are proud of the hugeness that they have amassed over the years, through careful consumption of nothing but the finest in saturated fats and carbs. Perhaps they feel this is the closest some people will get to the glorious sight of a bleached, albino walrus in its natural environment, and consider it an educational sacrifice.

The pull of the free stuff in exchange for lifelong humiliation is especially powerful for men, I guess. I can't see large women rushing up on stage for keyboards, mice and headphones. A brand new Alienware gaming rig, maybe. Yeah, I'd even consider that, for about 3 seconds, before returning to my nice, safe ale.

Mind, perhaps behind every emotionally shattered man in a size 2 pink shirt is a woman, pushing him toward the stage while screeching, "Win me something!". We may never know.

On to my drinking buddy, Capn John Swallow. Bastid was supposed to email me with his name, SSN and credit card number so I could make him more (in)famous when I did this comic, but he disappeared back into the seamy side of Vegas without a trace. I bet he got a job in some Pirate Revue show on the strip. Keep to the Code, buddy!

The point of this comic is that you always get some weird stuff at FanFaire, not least of which is a bearded lady wandering about harassing Devs. I recognize that some people take pics for the freak-show factor. I'm not proud. =)

Next up, why I almost missed the plane to GenCon. I am an idiot and cannot read a calendar. Thanks Wren, for saving my butt yet again. One all-nighter and a late comic later, I made it!

The pink shirt crew claimed one more victim on the flight to Indianapolis this morning. I saw the young guy sitting next to me glance over as I was finishing the comic, and then he literally sank into the book he was reading and moved away as far as the airline seat allowed. I hold Brenlo personally responsible for ruining his life.

;-)#
Brasse